From Mothers Brewing:
Hi I'm Max Powers (not really, my name is actually Doug) I've been hired (they didn't pay me) to bring to you the single greatest invention since the Hover Board! Meet the River Growler! Yes River Growler! This personal consumption device will change the way you carry your personal fluids around! Imagine if Tim Tebow, Chuck Norris and McGuyver had a baby....and that baby actually held fluids that you wanted to put in your mouth! Well the wait is over friends, because Mother's Brewing Company has made that dream a reality with the River Growler.
If you answer 'YES' to the following then our NASA let space and research team has determined this is the perfect product for you:
Tired of spending valuable energy trying to stay afloat?
Lifejackets giving you a hard time?
Have a vampire problem?
Are you worried about carjackers immune to pepper spray?
Do you want to sculpt your flab into fab?
Would you like to bring the party to the putting green?
Have a big softball game you need to win?
Are you tired of waiting for app downloads?
Would you like to make reading more interesting?
So if this product is for you, then all you have to do is call 862-0423 and order. BUT WAIT! How much is this life changing product? $22.00, but if you act now, we can give you 2 for $44.00. Want to get crazy? How about 3 for $66.00. Hurry River Growlers won't last long! Now a message from our lawyer:
Legal Disclaimer: The copy and content of this video are lies, weird distortions of the truth and plain stupid. River Growlers were not created by a super creepy threesome of Tim Tebow, Chuck Norris and McGuyver. They do not float, we are not responsible for any injuries sustained with use as personal protecting devise. Currently Apple has not invented a way to download a physical object, thus you cannot download a River Growler. Though it may come as a shock, vampires are not real. Please always drink responsibly as Mother's Brewing Company promotes safe drinking habits and does not recommend putting your personal fluids into a River Growler unless it's a Tuesday. Peace!
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