From Kern River:
For those of you who know, Whiskey Flat Weekend is coming up; it looks to be a nice weekend, so expect chaos, poor behavior and boots. Lots of boots. For those who don't know what Whiskey Flat Weekend is, it entails chaos, poor behavior and lots of boots.
Having said all of that, if you put yourself in the right mindset, it can be very entertaining. Here are our suggestions.
1. Come into the brewery Friday night and enjoy some live music with Mike Fleming and the rest of the locals since the crowds won't be here yet. Hopefully at some point in the night the band will announce that Rebecca had her baby. Keep your fingers crossed.
2. Come into the brewery at 11:30 on Saturday when we open and have an IPA. Or better yet, have a pint of NEWEST BEER - Single Track Pale Ale. This is a somewhat experimental beer using Pilsner malts and Mosaic hops. The result is a very light bodied yet hoppy pale ale weighing in at around 5% abv. Even better yet, a portion of the sales of this beer will go to help maintain and improve local mountain biking trails, so you can sit at the bar and call yourself a philanthropist. That is much harder to do when you are drinking Citra, believe me.
3. After a couple of beverages, wander on down and watch the parade as well as the people. It is hard to say what is more entertaining. Please don't feed the animals or provoke them in any way.
4. Stay away from the brewery for about 3 hours after the parade is over. If you come in and try to fill a growler after the parade is over you may have a boot thrown at you or possible placed in more unmentionable areas. Get your growler fills during section 1 of these suggestions or possibly during section 2 if you can't make it during 1.
5. Partake in some of the more entertaining activities of the weekend. Frog races are always good as well as the "Mutton Busting" during the rodeo. For God's Sake, though, if a group starts doing a line dance head in the opposite direction tout suite.
6. Don't even try to drive around this weekend; especially if you have been drinking. Seriously, we want everyone to have a good time but be safe. Plus between traffic, parking and CHP it is just not worth it.
7. On Sunday, repeat steps 2, 5 and 6 as required. There is not parade on Sunday, so while the brewery gets busy, we don't have that insane rush that normally happens on Saturday.
That's all for now. The views expressed in this e-mail about line dancing and boots in unmentionable areas are not necessarily the views of Kern River Brewing Company or any of its constituents, although the probably are. Please don't take any brews news comments, either explicit or inferred with any seriousness, except point 6 and the part about the baby in point 1 listed above. Have a great weekend!
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