It’s easy to see that we live in a crazy world these days. I’m old enough to remember a lot of birthdays and of course I’ve witnessed a lot of engagements and marriages. Thankfully I’ve only done one of each, but I can’t imagine how the young men and women these days manage to make it all work. Think about the images and messages our children are bombarded with on a daily basis…body image, lifestyle issues, life choices, and what feels a lot like a temporary and disposable world.
It’s hard for me to imagine what it must be like to meet someone, date that person and ultimately decide to juggle college, careers and family to end up being married. Unfortunately with all of that in mind, it’s easy to imagine that many people get engaged or even married for all the wrong reasons or even at the wrong time.
My advice to young family members has always been to wait, wait and then wait even more before they consider marriage. After all, young people will change so many times as they grow; and job locations and schooling locations will constantly pull people in different directions. Add in family pressures, other friends getting married and having children early, and social pressures and it’s no surprise that people get married before they are ready.
If you’re close enough to someone that you’re asking yourself about potentially getting engaged or married, I’m here to say that there are some great tools to be sure you’re doing the right thing. If you’re not familiar, I’m talking about Pre-Engagement Counseling.
If you’re not familiar, pre-engagement counseling can offer the tools you need to decide if you’re ready to be married and maybe even if you’re potentially marrying the right person. While it may not be that simple and clear-cut, pre-engagement counseling can offer some tremendous advantages.
Yes it’s important to note that if you’re planning a surprise engagement, pre-engagement counseling may let the cat out of the bag; but maybe that’s better for the long-term success of your marriage. With so many marriages ending in divorce, and so many divorces damaging people emotionally, socially and financially; pre-engagement counseling may be a great alternative.
Most of all, pre-engagement counseling can prepare the potential partners for the minefield of marriage that they may be walking through…and while this sounds negative, having a realistic view of the reality of marriage and learning the tools to cope with marriage issues can be invaluable. This is perhaps the greatest benefit of pre-engagement counseling; and it’s a benefit that can last a lifetime.
Pre-engagement counseling can also help you think long-term and realize that there are phases to every relationship. In other words, it’s much easier to deal with the honeymoon being over if you know in advance that the honeymoon will likely be over at some point.
If you’re still unsure, I found a great article to clear up if pre-engagement counseling is right for you and your significant other ( click here ). Pre-Engagement Counseling may take the surprise and creativity out of your surprise proposal, but it may also help you develop the tools to make your engagement and subsequent marriage last a long time.
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